Counselling – Part 1

This is where we start getting into some more detail. And where I think I have been the most nervous. So before you go down the sperm donor path, you first need some counselling to make sure you are ready and able to do this. I think I have mentioned that I already see a psychologist, but this was different. I was worried they would deny me. See, I have had a long history of depression and anxiety. I don’t have any issues with telling people this. In fact, I think more people need to be open about this as leaving this information behind closed doors doesn’t help anyone! But more recently, it has become clear to myself and my psych that this isn’t just depression and anxiety, this comes from having Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). I don’t want to go into detail about this just now, but this may be something I post on later down the track.

So as I say, I was worried they would deny me. But the lady I spoke to was just wonderful. I told her the truth, and she asked some questions about my history and my family dynamics. She wanted to know who was there to support me if need be. And what issues may arise that would make this SMBC (Single Mum By Choice) journey that little bit harder.

I didn’t know all the answers, but the things I did think of were: the potential of the child getting upset or bullied as they have no father; illnesses for either of us requiring support; questions from others; and god forbid if anything were to happen to me also. I think I’m getting my head around it all, but there is no way we can know all the issues, questions or concerns that could come up.

What she did recommend, however, was a group on Facebook called Solo Mothers by Choice Australia (or Single Mothers by Choice Australia – there are 2 of them). I was already in that group and have been impressed with them. Everyone is so helpful, friendly and supportive. They also have groups split off into locations so that your area can do meetups and local support.

She also recommended a particular author, Kimberly Kluger-Bell. She has a set of books called “The Pea That Was Me“, relating to donor children, surrogacy, IVF, etc. At the moment, I haven’t ordered it, as I don’t want to get my hopes up and refuse to buy anything baby related until I know for sure, yes, I am a little superstitious! But these do look really good. And there are so many others out there that I would like to explore. Note that these books so far are meant for the child. I am yet to delve into the books for the parent/s!