Donor

Now we are getting to the good stuff. Getting to choose the donor!

I contacted the banks who set up accounts for both to log on and see their profiles.

Four from Fairfax, five from Europe. While I was a bit disappointed in so few selections, I think it was definitely a blessing in disguise. If I had more to choose from, it would have made the decision harder. Think about it when you go out for dinner. If there is a menu full of so many foods, it always takes longer to pick than if you have a limited menu. Well, try doing that for the DNA that is going to belong to your future child. I’ll admit, it’s not the best analogy, but it’s late, and that’s all I can think of!

Anyway, based on some medical information and genetic testing, I could quickly eliminate a couple of them. One was a carrier for cystic fibrosis. One a carrier for something else. This would mean I would have to get tested as well and at an additional cost. And it just seemed easier to not have genes that carry something like CF. Not worth it.

I then got to read the bio’s. Some of them, you can tell their heart wasn’t in it. I don’t know. Just the way they answered the questions seemed like a bit of a joke. Or they were just doing it as it meant they got the free medical checkups that came with it. I wish I had copied one that I swear looking like he answered the questions while having a laugh with his mates or something.

So I read and re-read the profiles for a couple of days. I also sent the shortlist to my parents for a look. Then organised a night in and some dinner with my bestie to review the finalists.

Even from the beginning, for some reason, my heart was set on Europe. All I ever heard from America was that sperm donors are more common there as they pay for it. So here is me thinking college frat boys needing drinking money or homeless men. Now I know they said they can’t be paid here, but I just don’t know. Before anyone says anything, this is coming from my own biases and what you see in Hollywood. I’m more than happy to be corrected. Also, this did not mean these donors were taken out of the running.

On the other hand, Denmark had been somewhere I was looking at long ago. I had read some really great information on their facilities and why people use them. Not just for some money, but to actually help people.

In the end, I had 2 from each bank to work out. We eliminated 1 each, and then there was the final toss. Both of these were just great profiles. Wanting to do it for the right reasons. Great genetic testing and family backgrounds. One was of Danish descent, one Mexican/Spanish. Also note, the European bank was at a higher charge too. Minimum 4 vials from ESB, and min 5 vials from FF. But as my parents said, don’t pick based on money. Go with your gut.

So my chosen donor is Asfred from Denmark. The real big thing that pushed us over the line here was the audio interview, the written note, and the answer to the question: Why did you choose to become a donor?

“Two of my nearest friends had both been struggling to have children of their own, when they finally succeeded with the help of donors.”

In his bio, it says the following:

Asfred has green/brown eyes and dark brown hair. He is 172cm in height and weighs 70kg. He works as a physiotherapist. In his free time, he enjoys cooking, meditation and gardening. Asfred describes himself as empathetic, sensitive and intelligent. He wants to be a donor because he was inspired to help when two of his friends struggled to conceive.

He is also a cat person! Can’t go wrong with that! Loves all music, multilingual. And he is a physiotherapist for the elderly. Started in physio clinics but didn’t like the quick pace. So he moved into aged care to get to know his patients more and therefore care for them more.

All in all, I was pretty happy with my choice. So I ordered, paid, then had the fun of waiting for the vials to be delivered to the clinic.